"I was being called to surrender the very citadel of my self. I was completely in the dark. I did not really know what repentance was or what I was required to repent of. It was indeed the turning point of my life. God had brought me to my knees and made me acknowledge my own nothingness, and out of that knowledge I had been reborn. I was no longer the centre of my life, and therefore I could see God in everything." Bede Griffiths
"Teach me your way, Lord,
that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your love towards me;
you have delivered me from the depths
and the realm of the dead."
Psalm 86:11-13
"But the Lord stood at my side, and gave me strength, so that the message might be fully proclaimed, so that all might hear. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth."
2 Timothy 4:17
"I see dead people. They don't know that they are dead. Walking around, like regular people. They don't see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don't know they're dead. I see them all the time— they are everywhere; they only see what they want to see."
“In truth, however, nothing is inevitable and very little is new. And tech is no more the root of the problem than are trade or globalization. Many of our most vaunted innovations are simply methods -- electronic or otherwise -- of pulling off some age-old profit-maximizing maneuver by new and unregulated means.”
Thomas Frank
“It is my purpose, as one who lived and acted in these days, first to show how easily the tragedy of the Second World War could have been prevented; how the malice of the wicked was reinforced by the weakness of the virtuous.”
“Learn what is to be taken seriously and laugh at the rest.”
Hermann Hesse
"Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities.
But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless."
Jeffrey Kluger
“Narcissistic personality disorder is named for Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection. Freud used the term to describe persons who were self-absorbed, and psychoanalysts have focused on the narcissist's need to bolster his or her self-esteem through grandiose fantasy, exaggerated ambition, exhibitionism, and feelings of entitlement.”
Donald W. Black, DSM-5 Guidebook
The silliness of these markets and those who enable them make me laugh.
The politicians of the day are almost unbelievable— stylized caricatures of human beings. If you take them out of their Capitol elements they seem out of place, oddities.
The vanity of the self-important is both sad and amusing. They are truly clueless.
I would laugh harder if I were much further away.
Even a little problem conquered lifts the spirits and renews our energy.
"Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again: rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, give your concerns to God. And the peace of the Lord, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds. in Christ Jesus."
Phil 4:4-7
I do believe that the queen and I are in the endgame now. She requires constant watching and care, and I rarely leave her side. I have been dealing with the short term emergencies and gathering the facts and resources together for next steps, as the situation calls out in its own good time. As anyone who has been involved in this sort of thing knows, it can drag on for much longer than one might expect— in the manner of the Fed's serial asset bubbles achieved through top down stimulus.
There is a kind of a peacefulness amidst all this turmoil that at times seems almost beautiful. And, even when things get very bad, there are God's tender mercies, if we can but keep our hearts and eyes open for them.
Don't get me wrong When a loved one suffers or seems afraid, it still has the power to break any heart. One would think that something that gets broken so often over the years would somehow harden, but no, that does not seem to be the way it is in this case. Love has a transcendent power, as well as a transformative power.
But still, I can see love moving here among us— and He does send His angels in the darkest hours.
I believe that I can provide updates and links to news stories right along, since there is much time spent just being available nearby to her with my laptop. However, access to my office and the larger computer there with the data for the charts and means to generate them appears to be a more occasional luxury for now.
I did manage to link my laptop to the big multi-screened desktop computer for the streaming of video games (Skyrim and Fallout) on a hardwired gigabit ethernet I had installed, so perhaps when my son visits here from his Summer internship out of state later this month I will put him on the case. I could probably do it, but I just don't have the bandwidth for that now.
There are many things I could say about the markets, and about the economic and social and political situation we find ourselves in.
People do not want to hear it. If I have learned anything in the last ten years it is that people just do not want to hear it, even if the truth is presented factually and with transparent reason, in a fairly calm and straightforward manner.
Lately, as you may have noticed, or not, the emphasis of what I have been writing here has shifted to reassuring the faithful, and cautioning them against falling away as things get a little crazier, which they are bound to do, as opposed to arguing for systemic reforms as I and many others have done for so long.
I think the outcome, in general, of all this is 'baked in' now, at least in the broader realization of years of mispriced risk and policy errors. The problem is that I just cannot believe it. It has been like watching a train wreck in slow motion. So the sense of urgency one might have had when they thought that the situation was still manageable is no longer there.
And yet, you never see the good coming when things get darkest. But I don't think they are the darkest yet. I think the next collapsing bubble may usher that one in, with the usual posturing and false flags from the high priests of the god of the markets, caught as they are in a credibility trap.
I see nonsense everywhere. But the truly hysterical part of this cycle is still approaching, and it may get quite a bit worse when it does. There may be blood, if history is any indication, and a great deal of propaganda and distorted information spread by the money masters without a doubt. It is what they do.
Both political parties have failed, and the most sustainable solutions are being opposed vigorously by the very few at the top of the status quo, who will hang on to their privileges, with great indignation and self-righteous anger, to the bitter end. Better to rule in hell to serve in heaven.
What is going to happen is approaching with a kind of inevitability. And I have no more time or patience left for debating this with people whose minds are closed. Still, times like this show us who are our real friends, like stars in the night, and in some of the unlikeliest places.
All in all, we ought to draw comfort from the realization that, despite our prideful ignorance, we are not all that exceptional, and that historically our situation is hardly unique. I draw that same comfort in my own personal situation, and feel the power of the commonality with those of my fellows who have entered, almost without intention and often under the duress of suffering, into the invisible community of those who care for the things of the mind and of the spirit.
Those who have gone before us have stood on similar ground, over and over again. And now it is our turn.
And in the end, the only real tragedy is not to be a saint.
Let us pray for those whose hearts are hardened against His grace and loving kindness by greed, fear, and pride, and the seductive illusion and crushing isolation of evil.
We pray that we all may experience the three great gifts of our Lord's suffering and triumph: repentance, forgiveness, and thankfulness. And in so doing, may we obtain abundant life, and with it the peace that surpasses all understanding.
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