13 March 2012

JPM Front Runs the Fed, Raises Dividend, Announces $15B Stock Buyback - MBA's Are Passé


At least two of the big US banks have decided to pre-release the news, intended for a formal release on Wednesday, that they have 'passed' their Fed stress tests.

Bending the rules and front-running the Fed is what Wall Street does best, and no one does it better than JPM. Do you think their traders were short the market? lol.

Note: Because of these pre-announcements and the objections of the other banks who were following the rules, the Fed has moved up their stress test results release to 4 PM today. Good boy, Ben. Have a cookie.

JP Morgan was first to announce their exorbitant privilege, as head boy, and the Fed's house bank. Bank of America quickly followed with their own sterling results, right after JPM announced theirs.

Perhaps this was Jamie's way of telling Mr. Koutoulas to put his 'open letter' on integrity in banking where the moon don't shine. And putting his titular regulator, Mr. Bernanke, in his proer place.

I was a little amused today to hear that business college students are eschewing MBAs in favor of degrees in Finance and Accounting. An MBA is designed to actually run a real business, which is just so yesterday.

Better to learn to financialize, and move money around the plate with the greatest of ease. That is the big thing, and the message that the bright minds of the Empire have taken to heart.

It is nice to see that the Fed has saved the Banks. But now, the rest will have to fend for themselves.

Bonus time!


Bloomberg
JPMorgan Chase Boosts Dividend, Unveils $15 Billion Buyback
By Greg Chang
Mar 13, 2012 3:07 PM ET

JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPM) said it boosted its common stock quarterly dividend by 5 cents to 30 cents a share.

The lender also authorized a new $15 billion stock buyback program, of which up to $12 billion is approved for this year and up to an additional $3 billion is approved through the end of the first quarter of 2013.

JPMorgan said the Federal Reserve raised no objections to the proposed capital distributions.